He delievers us from our Fears

Today I read Psalms, it was just a random break in-between my normal reading because right now I'm in Ezekiel and let's face it, you gotta really concentrate with them prophets... so I thought something light but always uplifting that I can really let simmer in my mind today would be nice for my sick-faced, groggy-eyed self.
I turned to Psalm 34, read it through and realized something I had never realized before...
That Psalm is great. It's so encouraging that the Lord will always be with us, even when we're unfaithful like David was in front of Ambimelech. How many times do I "pretend" like everything's ok (or in his case, not ok!) when in reality I just need Jesus to save me from myself! And He is always faithful even when we our faithless. It's amazing.
In verse 4 it says, "I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delievered me from al my fears."
I have "He heard me" underlined, because it's great to know I serve a God that when I cry out to Him, HE HEARS! He seriously hears each one of my cries. How amazing!
I have "delievered" underlined... because honestly... too often I just want to be delievered. I always underline "delievered" in my Bible and whenever I'm going through trials or difficulties I just look and look again, our God is a God who delieveres the ones who love Him!
But what I didn't have underlined was "Fears", and this time it really stuck out to me.
The verse doesn't say, "I'll deliever you from your actual troubles"... it doesn't say "I'll deliever when you're in a real pickle"... or even "Before you die, I'll deliever, don't you worry".... no, no, no... our God does one better... He delievers from Fears!
That means, I don't even have to be in the midst of the actual problem, if I'm just worried about it, God is willing to deliever me from it. Maybe not always in a physical way... sometimes He wants us to go through troubling times so that He can mold and shape us, so that we draw closer to Him and learn to depend more on Him and His unending faithfulness.
But it does mean I serve a God who is fully capable and fully willing to steal my fears away and replace them with perfect peace and comfort. He is the God who delievers from Fears! and not just some fears, but ALL fears!

Honestly, I'm fearful A LOT! In practical and impractical ways. In possible, plausible and completely impossible, ridiculous ways... hey guess what, I have a fear of sharks... grew up in California and the Jaws music was always playing in the back of my head... but now I live in Jordan and there isn't even an ocean in sight... but I'm still afraid of them... impossible fears do exist in my life.  But He is the God who is willing to take everything I'm afraid of... from the days I'm weak at the knees about going across town by myself ... to saying something wrong in another language... or burning the Betty Crocker baked goods I'm making for a neighbor... or just meeting that neighbor! All my fears can be surrendered and then completely consumed by Him!
Jesus is the one who takes away our fears... all our fears. He's the One who is willing to take every little bit of worry and fearfulness we have and replace it with His love... knowing that He thinks the world of us and more and that I could never be more loved, so I need never look for more than what He gives me.... He replaces it with His confidence... knowing that the God of all creation is on my side, He's standing with me, He goes to every part of town, country, people I go to, He is my defense and my deliever, the One who makes me say "Whom shall I fear"... what do I have to be afraid of when I have the God of the universe on my side?... He replaces those fears with His comfort... knowing that wherever I am, I am engulfed in my Savior's arms. I have His Word hidden in my heart, I can pray to Him and He hears and He answers and His heart is to comfort me like a mother comforts her crying children.

He is the God who doesn't just deliever in my trouble... though He does... every hardship I've ever gone through, I've only ever made it through because He was with me, holding my hand... getting me through even when I didn't think so. But He is the God who delievers me from the fear that engulfs me when faced with such troubles. He is the God who equips me with the strength to stand and say "Whom shall I fear!?" because He has taken my fears. He has prepared me with a heart of peace and a mind stayed on Him.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."
Is. 26:3
"I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you should be afraid?" Is. 51:12

Really who am I that I should be afraid? My God delievers me from my fears, He fights my battles for me, He's faithful to always see me through till the end. He loves me!
What a gracious and loving God I serve :)

Turkey Day full of Thankfulness!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE :)

I hope you have a wonderful day filled with family, friends and Jesus! I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Elijah and I decided to just stay home... make all of our favorites... and have our first Thanksgiving as a couple alone. Hopefully it will be our last alone though too (even though we enjoyed it SO MUCH!) We're hoping to start a new Thanksgiving/Holiday traditions next year... we want to start inviting all the Arabs we know to our house every Thanksgiving. It would be such a great opportunity to share with them the one thing we are truly thankful for! But we'll share about that more in detail in our newsletter.

I have so much to be thankful for today. My God has truly blessed me abundantly and I do take so much of it for grant it so often, I'm sad to say. But praise the Lord for never giving up on me.

Today I am particularly thankful for my husband!

He's such a crack up! This is from last christmas, when his whole family took photos by the tree as couples, but I was in Germany.... this is what happened....

....OH MY!

I can't get over this guys quirky sense of humor.

Sometimes he's just a dork and it's great! I'm so proud of all the work he does, the time he invests in his students and the friendships he makes. He's so geniune but so silly... and so cool. Oh is this boy cool. When I first met him I actually thought he was too cool for me (so I ignored him, which made him think I was cooler. Girls... take note ;) )
I completely admire his private life with the Lord... every morning he faithfully goes and has his quiet time and it just blesses me so much. I can't help but admire my husband. I am so thankful for the man I will get to spend the rest of my life with... and I'm so previleged to do so! I don't deserve him and all his silly faces and witty remarks. He smiles at me and my heart just melts... and he's so cute when he has a surprise. He can't wait to tell me... he jumps around the house making noises just trying to keep it in.... it's an internal fight with himself ... he gets so excited. I love when he's excited, it's the best.

I'm so thankful for my family!! My parents and my brothers. (We'll start with my brothers first). Just look at these two. Are they not the two most handsome men you've ever seen.... and guess what ladies, they're still single! Cream of the crop right here.
My brothers have been there for me my whole life. Both of them will always take the time to listen to any problems I have, they've always been faithful in threatening boyfriends, and they make me laugh soooo hard!!! They're both hilarious.They both call me little sister, even though I'm older than them. I can spend hours with these two and have the best time (or be really bored... C'mon we've lived with eachother for 20+ years... what can you expect) But I don't mind being bored with them either.... just being in the same room with them makes me happy.

Me and my youngest brother Austin.... I can't believe he's already 22yrs old! He's got a beard and everything... it's crazy. We're kind of inseperable when we're together. He's one of the most friendly outgoing guys I know... he gets himself into wayyy too much trouble and is wayyyy to good at talking himself out of said trouble. I can't imagine someone not liking this kid.

Oh ya and he loves when I punch him, wrestle him, fight him.... he just loves it! Whenever he's feeling down,  I just have to slap him and he pops right out of it. It's the weirdest thing... but I wouldn't want it any other way. He's in Bible college right now and I couldn't be more proud of him... God will do cool things with him one day... I'm sure of it.

This is the middle brother Bryan. He's probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever get to know and definitley one of the most generous... he gives SO willingly! He's secretly the funniest person ever and says the most hilarious things, his fake mood swings are the best! He also happens to be the best digital artist in the whole world (I'm not exagerating. He's the best. He's my brother). He can do anything that has to do with art, literally anything and he's also... YES! also again... amazing at leather work. He makes masks... bags... and so much more amazing other leather things. 

He's humble about it... he has no idea how good he is... but this boy is going places! He's such an amazing artist and I'm so blessed to have him as a brother.

Just had to add this picture of my mom cause she's so cute.

My dad lookin' all handsome with his son :)

My parents:

My parents are amazing. My dad knows so much about the Bible, I love it. Whenever I'm too lazy to look up a question I have about the Bible, I can just ask my dad... normally I think that will be the quicker way, but it never is.... he never answers my questions, he always asks me questions and makes me figure it out on my own. I love talking to him about the Bible. 

My mom is also amazing, my whole life she has completely sacrificed herself for me and my happiness. She's done everything for me, from washing my clothes to making me dinner, to putting in extra time and effort to help or bless me with anything I found important. She always made all my halloween costumes, she decorated for all my birthday parties, even my wedding she spent so much time on crafts and organizations and decorations. She's amazing! I'm so blessed that I got such a selfless mom.

And both my parents have blessed me so much with trying to give me whatever I wanted.... they blessed me with the most beautiful wedding and didn't say no to anything, even though they don't have much. They were just so sweet and I'm so thankful to have them.

Then there's my in-laws. Goodness how I love these two! I love spending time with them, I love sitting around the dinner table with all of them just talking... we end up talking about some pretty crazy things. I love Dawn's spunky personality, she's so cute! I love how much Elijah loves and respects his parents too. I think it says a lot about them too. We both wish they lived closer, but I'm so thankful for skype and all the times we talk to them.

Then there's Aden and Ruth...
I admire these two soooooo much! Soooo much :) I love their hearts, the way they serve, the work they do, their marriage, their personalities.... I just think they're great! I'm starting to see a pattern here, everyone I love dearly makes me laugh my socks off.... and they're no exception. Their dynamic together is classic, whenever we hang out with them it's just so funny.
I've seen them both be in really difficult circumstances and handle it like champs, trusting in the Lord and waiting on Him. Ruth is such a faithful woman of God and it blesses me so much to see her heart in all sorts of different circumstances, she's great.. and Aden's just so good at making the best of every situation. I love these two so much and I'm so glad they're my brother and sister now!

So silly!

And then there's Ian and Siona...

They're so cute together. Whenever Siona isn't around Ian's always talking about how lucky he is to have caught her... and how crazy she is to have married him. Siona is just the sweetest girl! When I first met Elijah all he could talk about was Siona and what a great sister she was.... and she totally blessed me during my weddin' days and planned a ton of stuff, drove around looking for wedding things, totally made my bachelorette party wonderful and helped me so much on the actual day... she was prepared for everything! These two are soooo talented, it kind of blows your mind. They both play like a gazillion instruments and half the time when Ian's talking about music I don't have any idea what he's saying, he just sounds super smart and musical and I knod my head and pretend I get it all... and then Ian goes off about how Siona is so much better then he is at playing and that's just sweet. We get to see them in a couple days and we're just so blessed to spend the time with them. 

Most importantly I'm thankful for my Lord and Savior. 

All of these people I'm thankful for, are people He's blessed me with, by putting them in my life. He's the one who has surrounded me with such love and fun... He's the one that wants to bless me beyond my wildest dreams. He loves me so much and not only can I never be thankful enough for it, but I can't even comprehend it! Just look at all these people in this post alone... and He loves me more than all of them combined. I'm so thankful for Him and what He did for me.

We're also so thankful for our extended family. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins! And all our friends and our supporters constantly encouraging us and praying for us :) We're truly truly blessed people!

Lastly, here was our Thanksgivin' spread. Hopefully our first and last Thanksgiving alone... next year I hope to fit at least 30 people in our living room... we'll see :)

Look at that handsome bearded face! I love all of it :) 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! Hope you ate as much as we did and can thank the Lord for much much more. 

Another month (and a half maybe) in pictures

Another day another taxi ride

 I asked for salad, I got me some salad :) 

 Elijah got pretty sick this month. Day 1

And sicker on Day 2 

A sweet friend invited us over for dinner....

She made salmon and mashed potatoes, we could barely believe it. Salmon is so precious here!

 

Even though Muslims can't celebrate Christmas (christian holiday), they LOVE Christmas (and gold!) They deck everything out in out of date / recalled  decorations. It's so silly :)

He took me on a coffee date 

Hottie!

The vacant lot next to our house 

 Our apartment building from afar

There it is :) Now you know. Our apartment is the ground floor right there to the right... God has blessed us! 

Babysittin'. We love those kiddos! 

Morning time with the Word and Mr. WhoWho 

Lunch. Under 2JD = Happy Belly 

Slowly but surely the house is coming along 

Who wouldn't want it!? 

....Or this purple thing! Perfect addition to anybodies home! (And by the way, we're not in an antique store, that couch I'm sitting on is brand spakin' new! We're not in Kansas anymore :))

Street kitty. Elijah bought me a bag of cat food, just so I can carry some around when I go out and feed all the little babies. 

Ezra and Elijah. The big E's :) 

The coveted Mabroom Saudi Arabian dates. My whole family has asked for these ones, specifically, for Christmas. They can't be topped! They're so gooooood!

It's been a good month so far. Our Father has been teaching us quite a bit and opening our eyes to different opportunites we never even considered. I'm so excited about some of the things He's laid on our hearts. 

He's so good to be constantly opening our eyes. 

We can't wait for next month though and our trip home for the holidays :) So excited about Christmas in Germany, being with the family and being able to play with dogs and cats, eating bratwurst and hot apple cider, Christmas dinner.... I'm especially excited being able to takes walks all by myself and being able to speak the language, and being able to kiss Elijah in public *GASPS!* The west is just so forward thinking, haha.  

He's our Refuge

The other day in my quiet time I read this verse "Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked one when it comes; for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught" found in Proverbs.
I didn't think much of it when I read it, there were other verses that spoke to me more... but then something really funny happened that day. Elijah and I had to go grocery shopping, we got ready like normally and I was hearing something funny from inside the house. Sometimes in these concrete houses you can hear a person sneeze outside just like they were in your own living room, but when you wanna hear something it's hard to make it out. It sounded like a bunch of people at a party.
Elijah and I stepped outside on our porch and instantly were hit by the sound of thousands and thousands of mosques in the entire city blaring their loudspeakers. Every mosque talking all at once, singing, shouting... it was really chaotic and hard to make out what even one mosque was trying to say over the next. The speakers seemed louder than ever before... and the streets were empty. It was definitely an eery feeling.
As we started walking, we kept looking at each other, we were both a bit hesitant.
I'll admit, I tend to be a worrying person. I've got an imagination on me that can instantly go from 0 to 100 in 15 seconds flat... and don't put it pass me to add spaceships and unicorns... I can imagine up anything! I realized that we are in the Middle East and even though we're blessed with living in a stable country, in the Middle East I don't think you should ever put it pass chaos to escalate to anything it wants to, at any given time. I don't think I should write on the blog what some of the loudspeakers were preaching either :) It seemed chaotic (to us at least, we had never experienced anything like it before).
And then as I started to think it really awkward, the Lord reminded me of this verse.

He will be my confidence! In any situation.
It's like the superhero swooping in to save the day. The Lord is my confidence and what do I have to be afraid of on this earth? Niether things I understand nor things I don't understand. Chaotic situations or organized evil. It's the Lord that will keep my foot from being caught! Not my senses, logic, advise from friends with more experience or even warnings from the U.S. embassy that we get sent on our email. Nothing will keep me safe like me safe like my Father! There's nothing I can place my confidence in besides Him.
Walking in His confidence is such a beautiful and stablizing feeling. It's an instant confidence that know's no fear, that can stand strong in the face of anything, it's 100% reliable with absolutely no doubting to be found in it. His confidence is beautiful and overpowering.
And I realized why this is a verse I can apply to my life everyday.. anywhere I am, but especially while I'm in the Middle East with this imagination of mine. He is my confidence... I just imagine Him standing in front of me like a shield, God Himself! What's going to pass Him and get to me? He is my confidence, my shield, my refuge, my strength! He's my everything! What shall I fear?

It ended up just being a normal thing I guess they do from time to time. The Middle East is full of surprises! They love to catch ya off-guard ;)

We ended up going grocery shopping and Eli started to get really sick, so with all our grocery bags in tow we headed out to find a taxi. I started praying for a good taxi, that wouldn't rip us off, cause sometimes if your trip is kind of far they like to do that... and the first taxi we got was a good one. I love how the God I can have full confidence in with the big things, is also the God I can be confident cares about the little things.
He is just soooooo good. I can't even say it enough.

Are there areas in your life that you're realizing He's your complete confidence in?

My Hubby

Today I'm really just blown away by the husband God's blessed me with. Elijah's amazing and I think most people who know him agree with me (I'm always blown away by just HOW MANY people really do love him!)... but I've been blessed to realize how amazing he is in a whole new way that I doubt very many people will ever get to see.
My husband is a constant reminder to me of what it's like to be kind! I think Eli's probably one of the kindest people I know. He just instantly loves people and pours out kindness on them! I'll be standing in the corner thinking, What's that guy's problem? And then Eli will come up to me and tell me about how he already loves that guy.... and he's totally sincere. I've seen Eli reach out to some of the (in my opinion at least) most annoying and unlovable people, and he just does it with utter sincerity and willingness to be their friend.
He's always willing to do people favors, he's always willing to help out... even if it's in a situation I know he wouldn't particularly like to do, he'll do it without any complaining if it helps a friend out.

One of the things that first attracted me to Eli is how much time he takes to think before he speaks. Since marrying him I realize he doesn't always think sooooo much before he speaks, haha! We've got some funny stories there. But he does take his time usually, he's gentle in his speech, kind and encouraging. I've seen him talk with a lot of people and have been blown away by his comfortableness and willingness to just talk with people. He'll just give his time to people. It's a trait I really admire in him.

I'm so blessed to see the Lord working in his life. He's growing so much everyday and I'm so excited to see the man the Lord is continually shaping him into. He has so many characteristics that are already such a blessing and I keep seeing the Lord continue to define and redefine those characteristics, I keep see Him chizzling away here and adding there and I keep seeing God adding Himself more and more to Eli's life. And that's really want I want for my husband, a life that doesn't reflect Eli and his character, but a life that reflects God and His character. I'm so blessed that the Lord gave me a man who is so willing and eager to have the Lord do that in him! A man who is constantly open to it, constantly surrendering himself to it, constantly seeking it diligently.

Elijah also humbles me so much when he admits he's wrong! I know, it should be the other way around, right. But he's always so sincere when he admits it, he doesn't hold a grudge or try to find excuses why he was right in this part or that part.... he just full out admits he's wrong when he's wrong....and I've seen him do this in many different situations and it's such an example to me!!! The sincerity in his heart just humbles me! And when I'm wrong and I have to admit, Elijah is the most gracious man. He never denies me, he forgives me and he's so gracious about it. He'll embrace me, he'll comfort me, he's so often such an example of Christ to me.

 And lastly, he loves me! He really really loves me!!! I'm so blessed to have a man who just loves me so much! I don't even know why he loves me. As we've pointed out, I'm a bit judgy, I don't have a knack for loving on people like he does, and when he apogolizes to me, I get taught the lesson! But he still loves me and I'm just so happy about it! OH and he makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. There's only about three people in this whole world that make me laugh really hard, but Elijah tops them all! We always have the absolute most fun together, his faces, his moves, all his laughs... his humor... the boy makes me pee my pants (embarrassingly enough) I'm just so thankful to be with this funny man.

I'm not saying my husband is perfect. He's not! Trust me, I live with him, he's not... at times he can be messy, at times he can be forgetful, at times he steals the covers ;) But I love all the great things about this godly man and I'm learning to love him through all the imperfections too! God has truly blessed me with a husband I can learn from, who blesses me and loves me and a husband who I know in his heart of hearts just wants to see me more and more in love with our Father. I couldn't have asked for more!

I love you Elijah Knepper.